Going Down in the world of Fashion

I've always been told that I can be a little bit opinionated, that I don't know when to shut up and that I call a spade a spade, so I thought that I might as well put these charming comments to good use which is why I have created Going Up and Going Down; my guide to what should be celebrated and mocked each week.

Penises as fashion

Really? I can’t think of any reason for this, other than for me and my work colleague to amuse ourselves on a quiet afternoon! I have to be honest, the penis isn’t the most attractive things at the best of times and for me, fashion is all about inspiration, expression and art. Men, however, getting out their genitalia is none of these things. Let’s just hope that this moment in fashion is fleeting.

 

Hiking sandals

Another disturbing presence on the catwalk! My feet do not have the luxury of being aesthetically pleasing so attractive footwear is very important – Ugly Chic is something that I can only manage by wearing beautiful shoes, as my feet easily fit the ugly bill. Embracing hiking sandals with my feet would simply be called ugly ugly. I understand that hiking sandals are required for those who are actually going hiking in the warmer months, but like Jeeps in Suburbs there is no place for hiking sandals on the high street.

 

White Trousers and flares on men

Both trends are key staples for S/S 15 but only for women. 70’s style will always resurface and rightly so, aside from the 20’s it has to be one my favourite decades, but again only on women I know the words can’t should never be uttered when it comes to the sexes, but men really CAN’T and should never want to replicate the look of The Bee Gees or Saturday Night Fever!

 

The top knot

This hairstyle seems to be as tight and secure in the fashion world as the top knot itself! There is one man to blame for this, and that is Made in Chelsea’s, Oliver Proudlock. To be quite honest had he not been one of my favourites MIC characters, aka the least arsehole-ish of the group, he would have rapidly fallen down the ladder of MIC popularity – I’m sure he would be traumatised to know this! But if 9 series in and this is his biggest mistake, I think he has done quite well. I am, however, not so forgiving of you mere mortals out there who insist on blinding me with this ridiculous hipster trend – cut it off!